"Chronicles of Narnia" video has become such a thing
papers are writing about it. (Full disclosure: I watched it
on SNL, and didn't think it was so hot. I just watched it again.
It was amusing. I guess.) (Reg. req'd)
Top 10 foods
you should never eat. I grew up on number one. And Monday night,
the three of us shared an Outback Bloomin Onion w/Dressing©.
Man, that thing could kill you. I found the nutrition information
on that one, but I am actually too embarrassed to post it.
A foul odor
in New York City's East Side building leads police to
a body in a suitcase. His wife's explanation: "He always
wanted to go to Arizona." (Reg. req'd)
it ain't so, Johnny. Say
it ain't so. (Reg. req'd)
year in review, courtesy of the folks that brought you "This
Land Is Your Land."
to self -- Always leave car doors unlocked: "A Northboro man
returned to the Westboro MBTA parking lot to find a rock in his
car, but this was no act of vandalism. A mysterious jilted lover
a stunning, three-stone engagement ring on the front seat in
a box wrapped with a white bow. The only clue to the bling bonanza
is a note that reads: 'Merry Christmas. Thank you for leaving your
car door unlocked. Instead of stealing your car I gave you a present.
Hopefully this will land in the hands of someone you love, for my
love is gone now. Merry Christmas to you.'" (And the Saturday
Rebecca's mom writes for the Chicago Tribune, and here's
going into the final episode. Unfortunately, she was silent after
left Rebecca at the Trump altar, so to speak. (Reg. req'd)
is so hot right now. Just
not in Boston.
latest airfare promotion -- distributed on soda cups -- has
people buying 64 medium sodas, sans soda.
Because I am
not a celebrity, and because we got married before the wise advice
contained "Golddigger" came out, the Zurnses do not have
a prenup. But look at various issues we could have skated past if
we'd just clarified in the beginning: For example, attorneys
say some recent
celebrity prenups included:
the wife's weight to 120 pounds or she must relinquish $100,000
of her separate property.
a spouse to perform random drug tests, with financial penalties
for positive results.
a husband to pay $10,000 each time he is rude to his wife's parents.
'downtime' computer programming by husband results in rides to
work every morning for wife ... wait a sec, that one was just
to start a gang.
And what the purpose is of the four-digit
number after the five-digit ZIP code. Just fun things one should
Brat brat BRATTY
kids put together friggin POWERPOINT
presentations on what they want for CHRISTMAS. ARRRUGH. I am
not charmed. (Reg. req'd)
microbreweries in D.C. are a little miffed at Sam Adams and
Sierra Nevada. (Reg. req'd)
there was a website that claimed you could turn on and off the Christmas
lights on some guy's house remotely via the Internet. (I blogged
year!!!) Intrepid reporters decide they
will prove (or disprove) this claim. What they find may surprise
you ... (or it may not; I'm just trying to tease the story.)
dating is now passé. Now it's speed
staring. Says one guy, of his internal dialogue: "Why are
you sad? Why are you optimistic?' You start asking yourself all
these deep questions about the person you're looking at'...Sometimes,
he added of his fellow gazers, 'they'd be happy in one eye and sad
in the other. It was wild.'" That guy? Is a CATCH. (Reg. req'd)
awful: The state
of China's toilets. "Most toilets have no toilet paper.
Many lack running water. Everywhere, flushing seems optional."
happened when a group of people who work out regularly were told
drink for a month. I thought this was interesting from both
health and social points of view. (Reg. req'd)
be booted for the
new Windows Live Mail. What a dumb name.
Moment #751 from the T: A woman across from me (side-facing seats,
so technically we were facing each other) was plucking her mustache.
these. I openly stared.
I had taken
today off a while ago. It was supposed to be a day for errands.
Then the weather happened:
of the house
(click for larger)
(larger's not really more interesting)
of the house
(That's my car on the left.
It's on a Top 10 list!! Number
While I'm definitely
not complaining about not taking the T, I'm not going anywhere,
either. So here is an unscheduled morning post, for the enjoyment
of my vast legion of readers.
addition to Gmail this morning made me happy.
MBTP myth: "It's not really snowing until someone reports a
run on MBTP." (Reg. req'd)
month's Murakami talk. The picture stinks.
Last week, I
was captivated by the SNL host. His opening monologue went
on for a full 15 minutes, and it was actually funny. "Who is
this mystery funny man?" I wondered. Now
Sox news: The Yankees might
want Nomar. Johnny might
want to be a Yankee. Sox Pax go
on sale Saturday.
Coffee + Coke
someone with way too much time on their hands does
lights on their house. A Today
show clip on the house,
earlier story. But apparently the neighbors have had enough,
and police asked him to shut
real-life Earl: "Like the lead character in the new NBC sitcom
My Name is Earl, Mike Sargent lost
[a $25,000] scratch-off ticket moments after he realized he'd hit
the jackpot and, through several incredible coincidences, found
it days later." He was also a former drug addict and alcoholic
who admits being verbally abusive to his wife and two sons until
he turned his life around 19 years ago, entering rehab and embracing
his Christian faith. So if I am a really bad person and turn my
life around, will God reward me, too?
Move over, vegans
come the "freegans": People who eat solely food that
comes from the trash. "People have this image of looking into
a Dumpster and seeing slimy garbage, but that's just not the case,"
one freegan said. "At the same time, food poisoning is no joke,
so you have to be careful."
admits trying to open plane's door for
a mid-flight cigarette.
10 books of 2005. My Haruki (I think I can presume we're
that close) was top of the list. (Reg. req'd)
awesome: Story about rappers' grills. As in, tooth
bling. It can cost as much as $50,000 for a full grill with
30 carats of diamonds. (Reg. req'd, worth a visit for the photo
An entire BBC
story devoted to the medical
malady known as "shy pee." "[I]t can destroy
lives, people have left their jobs because of it."
is the most
literary city in America. Boston is a lame number 7.
officials sent 35 firefighters to a 35-year-old woman's house to
her 'baby' from a sewer. The baby was a cat.
you read in Wikipedia might
not necessarily be true. (Reg. req'd)
Your IQ Is 115
Logical Intelligence is Below Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional
Your General Knowledge is Above Average
And I don't
care if you're smarter than me.
trees the newest thing to hit Christmas since the Winter Warmer.
For $400, you can buy
one at Target. Brian wants to know if you're supposed to hang
the gifts from the ceiling, under the tree.
dumped him. Now Chicago is telling Nomar that you don't have to
go home, but you
can't stay here. (Reg. req'd)
in beer have health benefits. Next week, expect researchers
to find that hops in beer may hasten death.
Japanese fugu fish are off the menu after FDA rules are violated.
(Reg. req'd) Well, it didn't kill
Murakami had a new
story published last week. I, along with fellow über Murakami
fan Jill, met him at a
talk in Cambridge on Friday. There's a very long story involved
with what happened, way too long to post here. Let me know if you're
marry man who shot her. "I love Christian today as deeply
as I loved him before this awful thing happened to us," Tina
Marie Stebbins wrote in a victim impact statement. "We are
to wed may make marriage happy, survey says.
See, Tina Marie (previous item) is doubly screwed; he's 37.
to correctly use "Mrs." Apparently I committed this
exact mistake with parents' names, both mine and his, in our engagement
look at the
$100 laptop. Semi-interesting fact:
It will use open source. (Reg. req'd)
Why have Catholics
stopped lining up at the confessional? One reason: An abundance
of online confessionals, which include such charmers as, "I
eat ants but only the little red ones. They're sweet as hell and
I just can't get enough."
On Friday evening,
at one of our favorite
places, I ordered a glass of the only-in-Boston, über-special,
Sam Adams Colonial Ale. This
story does an excellent job of describing its various nuances.
My review? I didn't like it. They also had (but we didn't try) Seriously
Bad Elf, which used to be banned
have now seen the lengths to which people will go to be indisputably
toilet paper." (Reg. req'd)
MIT has a class
Carrie Bradshaw. I wish "MIT" was a typo. (Reg. req'd)
house owner bans bratty kids. Well, he tells them to shut up.
Does he develop residential neighborhoods? (And in case you really
want to know more, here's a
story with a photo gallery.) (Reg. req'd)
Space now out in a
Its title: Office Space -- Special Edition With Flair. Heh.
A guy is capitalizing
on his twelve years of undergrad with a William Morris agent, free
tuition, free faux Red Bull, and a New
York Times article. "Mr. Lechner said he hardly noticed
the semesters flying by during his fifth, sixth and seventh college
years because he had found a 'comfort zone.' During his eighth year,
he said, 'I realized it's a great story, and I started thinking
about my book.'" (Reg. req'd)
get a ticket to Oprah, you need to sell your baby. Or
something. (Reg. req'd)
World: IKEA just wrapped near Boston.
look at the kids who play Cedric Diggory, Cho Chang, and Victor
Krum in the latest
Harry Potter movie.
from today's T ride:
roughly early 20s: I just realized I wasn't fulfilling my duties
as a boyfriend.
Guy Two: Yeah?
Guy One: I decided I would be doing more harm to the relationship
by staying in it.
so guys talk like this?? Since when?
girl to a gaggle of friends. Context: They were talking about how
their parents drive:
"So my mom was like, 'Go ahead!! I have a big car, a rich husband,
and a lot of insurance.'"
What a tragic
commentary on our society. Rich people really do talk like
The T was overcrowded
this afternoon during rush hour. In the space between the door and
the first set of single seats facing each other, I counted a dozen
adults. Think about it. This cannot be safe.
To: People with backpacks on the T
Kindly take your backpack off your back. So many people would be
so appreciative if you realized how selfish and oblivious you are.
Your inordinate consumption of personal space is disgustingly rude.
I hate you.
watched as a random guy waiting for the T took his bike (with tires
that were smaller than usual), removed some pins, and stuffed the
whole bike into a nylon sack. He kind of smiled when he was done,
as if to say, "Yeah, I know that was pretty awesome."
Awesome, indeed, sir. Awesome indeed.
I have been
avidly, avidly following the Scooter Libby indictment. It
just caught my interest and never let go. I read the entire Fitzgerald
papers. We watched the press conference on Friday live. But
I think something will get overshadowed, and the last
line of the day-after NYT editorial on the subject summarized
it best, without elaboration: "[A]s absorbing as this criminal
investigation has been, the big point Americans need to keep in
mind is this: There were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq."
(Reg. req'd) (The Zurns household has been nothing but fun fun
fun about this, let me tell you.)
8, credited with Maryland's first bear kill this year. "Donald
Stiles beamed as his daughter, dressed in hunters' camouflage with
a fluorescent orange vest, told how she
skipped school to shoot the male bear." That's great. (Reg.
From AP: The
Muppets could come back to primetime television with their own reality
show. ABC has ordered a script and five episode outlines for "America's
Next Muppet," in which viewers may join in choosing the
newest member of the puppet family that includes Kermit the Frog
and Miss Piggy, a network spokeswoman said Tuesday.
roundup of ethnic
candies. My fave: India's "Plain Barfi." Heh.
This made me
laugh: What's your ghetto
IQ? I got aggravated with keeping score, but to give you an
idea -- we still do number nineteen, Brian often talks fondly
of number three, and I loved chico sticks. And come on -- doesn't
everyone do number 39? Some are a little over-the-top, and
I may not have personally done many of them, but I certainly knew
people who did.
You too can
be archly ironic in your Burger
King mask this Halloween.
woman's experience driving
a stick shift for the first time. If you've never driven one
before, her account will terrify you. But if you have, if kind of
like, pffffft, whatever.
Onion to stop using the Presidential seal. The Onion's response:
"I'm surprised the president deems it wise to spend taxpayer
money for his lawyer to write letters to The Onion," Scott
Dikkers, editor in chief, wrote. (Reg. req'd)
like my men hairy, thankyouverymuch: "The ranks of sartorially
self-aware males are growing so fast in some Asian countries that
they have become an identifiable
social subspecies. In China, they are called the aimei nanren
(love beauty men), fastidious fellows who are unafraid to spend
a few hours in a beauty salon getting pedicures, pore packs and
cramped restaurants: "Hostile situations emerge when you
are seated next to people who resent you for it, as if you had requested
to crash their dinner. All you can do is give them one of those
'What?' looks teenagers give their moms, and avoid eye contact from
that point on."
was spun as "Steve
Jobs speaks: What's Next for Apple," but Steve's not saying
a whole lot.
other techish news: A Sunday Globe Business section front
on Raytheon's DDR. Excuse me, DD(X).
100 percent ripped off of Kevin:
A proud non-profit
man in Florida hit another man while driving. "It
ended horribly. [The driver] hit a man crossing 34th Street
S, severing the man's right leg, then drove 3 miles with the body
stuck in the windshield. When police asked [the driver] what happened,
he said the body seemed to drop from the sky." If you can believe
it, it acually gets worse from there. I feel badly even writing
about it, but I can't stop thinking about it, either. And yes, when
you reach a certain age, you shouldn't be driving.
DeLay is slick, let me tell you: "Why is Tom
DeLay smiling? After all, he's been indicted...Answer: A photo
of DeLay grinning from ear to ear [in his mugshot] doesn't pack
quite the punch in a Democratic attack ad...He looks in the photo
like a proud member of Congress who might just have won
the lottery, not one indicted on charges of money laundering."
Hmmmm ... well, he showed those liberal vultures no one's
going to take advantage of Mr. Tom DeLay is his mugshot.
You show 'em, Tommy.
of Rachael Ray, who is the world's worst tipper on national
television. She tips some places, like, 70 cents. I don't care
if it's great publicity, it's a bad example. Anyway, a fun fact:
"Her cutesy-pie catchphrases -- sammies for sandwiches, stoups
for soups that are as thick as stew -- are so grating on certain
people that they inspired a drinking game in which players take
a sip when she uses one." (Reg. req'd)
(less than $10) wine, according to the Boston Globe.
Series tickets sold
out in 18 minutes in Chicago. One guy offered his kidney for
a pair. (Reg. req'd)
players now have a
dress code. "Marcus Camby of the Denver Nuggets, whose
contract will pay him nearly $50 million over the next five years,
told an interviewer before the code was imposed, 'I don't see it
happening unless every NBA player is given a stipend to buy clothes.'"
[donatella] Get OUT!! [/donatella] (Reg. req'd)
First they did
it for the ladies, now they're doing
it for the men: What you order to drink on a first date says
about you. Example: "Long Island iced tea: 'My backseat sleeps
two comfortably.'" (Reg. req'd)
-- Tina Fey is returning
to SNL this Saturday. I saw parts of Mean Girls recently,
and it was pretty funny.
California, a cougar that ventured onto a patio is shot
dead out of a tree by the homeowner. What if these people were
your neighbors? Wouldn't that be disturbing?
soaps are the devil's potion. (Answer: supergerms)
winners of this year's best world wildlife photography. A runner-up
showcases a frog
orgy. Made you look.
Pressing the "close" button along with a desired floor
will not send
you straight to your floor. Or will it?
an attempt to mimic a
month in the life of the working poor, a small-town newspaper
takes a young reporter, gives him $424, and tells him he's completely
on his own. No checkbook, ATM card, credit card, car keys, fiancée
or apartment. It's really interesting how he deals with it.
noticed -- Desperate Housewives isn't
as good as it was last year. (Reg. req'd)
profile of Diego D'Ambrosio, the guy who
cuts the hair of the powerful in D.C. What Diego said about
former Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger: He was "a
very special friend. I love him. Well, I can't say 'love him.' He
like-a me very much. I like-a him very, very much."
propaganda the future Zurns children will not be reading:
Mom! There are liberals under my bed!: "Two of the
[children's] book's villains, who resemble Hillary Rodham Clinton
and Edward M. Kennedy, tax the boys' [lemonade stand] profits, restrict
the amount of sugar they can use in their drinks and require them
to serve broccoli, too. A liberal lawyer, 'Mr. Fussman,' harasses
the boys for putting a picture of Jesus on their stand. In the book's
'happy' ending, the liberals vanish as if they were a bad dream..."
wants to trademark
the Internet. (Reg. req'd)
Egyptian-style -- "'Omar
Shamshoon,' as he is called on the show, looks like the same
Homer Simpson, but he has given up beer and bacon, which are both
against Islam, and he no longer hangs out at 'seedy bars with bums
and lowlifes.' In Arabia, Homer's beer is soda, and his hot dogs
are barbequed Egyptian beef sausages. And the donut-shaped snacks
he gobbles are the traditional Arab cookies called kahk."
Harriet Miers nominated for the Supreme Court or student council
secretary? In a letter to Bush after his birthday, she wrote she
found him "cool," said he and his girlfriend, excuse
me, wife were "the greatest!" and told him: "You
are the best governor ever." Not cited: "I totally think
Laura and I will be BFF." (Reg. req'd; click the image for
did not find this charming at all: "An 8-year-old girl with
a big heart and loose tooth found a creative way to help people
displaced by the hurricanes. Briton Nordmeyer sent
her tooth to the Red Cross chapter in Sioux Falls, hoping the
tooth fairy would leave money there instead of under her pillow."
She's eight. Not four. EIGHT.
rescued some drowning women in Boston Harbor. "She looked
up, saw her rescuers, and the first words out of her mouth were:
'Are you Nomar?'" Heh.
Used books start to shake off their second-class
image. I agree -- they're less than half the price, and the
same words, as the originals.
for handbags: "Customers pay a monthly fee for access to
a collection of authentic designer handbags. Membership levels --
ranging from Trendsetter ($19.95) to Diva Deluxe ($174.95) -- determine
whether a customer borrows a Coach minibag or an expensive, hard-to-get
Hermes tote." (Reg. req'd)
you order to drink on a first date (if you're a woman) says
about you. For example: "Whiskey and Coke: Borderline alcoholic."
has 16 children, all sired
by Jim Bob. (Link for story; click image for large picture.
One kid's digging for gold, and the kid on the far left looks like
he wants nothing to do with his family.)
making The Princess Bride into
a musical. [Full disclosure: via slashdot.
Yeah, I know.] (Although I don't know what the hell it's doing there.)
One more: Kerrigan, Harding skating saga adapted
must-read: The Germ Freak's Guide to Outwitting Colds and
first adult-only episode of 'The Smurfs,' in which the blue-skinned
cartoon characters' village is annihilated by warplanes, has terrified
young children...It opens with the Smurfs dancing, hand in hand,
around a campfire and singing the Smurf song...[u]ntil, without
warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky. The Smurfs scatter and
run in vain from the whistling bombs, before being felled by blast
waves and fiery explosions. The final scene shows a scorched and
tattered Baby Smurf sobbing inconsolably, surrounded by prone Smurfs."
the diapers altogether, even for their littlest babies. I don't
know, but it doesn't seem like that bad an idea. (Reg. req'd)
Iyengar, who founded a major yoga practice, is going to be at
the Brookline Booksmith this week. I'm halfway interested in
going, because I have a) heard of him, and b) am fascinated to see
the type of crowd he would draw. Here's a story about his recent
appearance in Denver (with a fab picture.) Reading the article,
he sounds a little... scary crazy.
More on foie
gras -- the Chicago Tribune sent
a reporter to a foie gras farm. The sidebar at the end mentions
the video that got me all worked up. (Reg.
award winner of the World Press Photo foundation talks about his
winning work, a 1975 photo of a woman and her two-year-old goddaughter
from a broken fire escape during an apartment house fire in
Boston. Needless to say, the image is unforgettable.
buzz buzz: "It's a textbook example of fantastic marketing."
your pits with high-end
deodorant. (Reg. req'd)
Gromit cope with
a new curse -- in some parts, "rabbit" is a dirty
word. So marketers of the new movie will instead use the B-word,
"bunny." You couldn't make this up.
pair recently enrolled at the University of California-Berkeley
as juniors. Big deal? He's 13
years old, she's 14. (Reg. req'd)
Oh, but now
this makes me sad(der). No, it's not news, but just proof that everything
in life comes to an end eventually:
Sox are bound to undergo a major makeover before they next meet
in Fort Myers, Fla.; well-known characters such as Johnny Damon,
Kevin Millar, Bill Mueller, Mike Timlin, and maybe even Manny
Ramirez are likely to be gone. Manager Terry Francona and Epstein
are among others no longer under contract, and several in the
Sox locker room viewed this
defeat as the last roundup for the raggedy men who made hardball
history in the Hub." (Reg. req'd)
grace, how sweeeeeeeet the sound, that saved a-aaa wretch like meeeeeeee
... [sigh] It just seemed appropriate.
Well, we lost.
And frankly, if the score can be 4-3 and we have the bases loaded
and no outs and do nothing with it, we deserve to. If it's
the Yankees and the White Sox, I throw my support to the White Sox.
I can remember what it's like to have not won a championship since
And if you're
a dumb-ass girl at Beer Works, and you're in the line for the bathroom
in front of me, DON'T bring your cell phone in with you. DON'T tell
your friend, "Oh, can you hear toilets flushing? I'm in the
bathroom, but I am not in a stall or anything," then
proceed into the stall and talk your friend's ear off while taking
a leak. NOT COOL. Because I will go home, and curse not saying anything.
I have learned, for the next time.
don't take your beer glass into the bathroom with you. The beer
deserves better than you.
physically painful to watch. And the ESPN announcers? NOT the SAME.
I miss you.
Sox 10 Yankees 1
love watching baseball in October, even if it's only for a little
(Don't want to jinx anyone here. It looks like the White Sox are
It comes to
this. Schilling is pitching. Maybe Cleveland will lose.
stakes of tonight's
game: "And now it comes down to this: Yankees up by one
game with three to play. Win three and the Sox win the division.
Win two and they possibly face the Yankees Monday in a one-game
playoff at Yankee Stadium." (Reg. req'd)
this fun baseball fact: "It's easier to make the majors as
a player than an umpire. Two percent of players who enter pro
ball make the bigs. Only one percent of the umps who go to umpire
school get there." (Reg. req'd)
people did with their $150 piece of 2004 World
One guy describes
his reason to get laser
beard sculpturing thusly: "[T]he last thing you want to
do is get blood [from shaving] all over a $250 Ermenegildo Zegna
shirt." Wow, that is so hot. In a really fussy, prissy, effeminate
kind of way. (Reg. req'd)
stamps are here! And to bring you back down from that nostalgic
high, stamps are going
up two cents in January. I'm sure Statler
and Waldorf would have something to say about that.
the trailer of the Shining into one for a
feel-good movie. It's pretty awesome. (Related story.)
(Reg. req'd for the story)
starts its new season tomorrow (Steve Carell is the host!)
NYT profiled Fred Armisen, aka
Fericito. (Reg. req'd)
laptop, complete with a "a hand-crank to give it power
in those corners of the globe where electricity supply is patchy."
to Google.com, type the term 'miserable failure' in the search field,
and see what pops up when you click on the 'Google Search' button.
The top result? A link to the official White House biography of
President George W. Bush. Or type in 'failure' and click on 'I'm
Feeling Lucky' instead, and you're taken directly to the page, where
a smiling Bush greets you. He's been Google
of goofs from last night's live Will & Grace.
beermat that alerts the bartender that your glass is empty could
feature in pubs of the future.
and Meg's wedding pics are up! Kristen
and Tom's wedding pics are up! (Can I say "good times,
great oldies," or is that trademarked?
Schilling needs to lay off the whining a little. I still have respect
for what he pulled off last season, but...geez.
Just my opinion. (Reg. req'd)
man and his former mother-in-law have told how they hope
to marry after the U.K.'s ban on such unions was challenged
in a European court.
car smell' could be dangerous to your health. Dangerous enough,
in fact, that Japanese auto makers have banded together to set a
target for improving the interior air quality in their cars."
Well, our car has smelled like "new-car crayons" for five
years. I suppose that means we're not long for this world. (Reg.
Herald reporters scoured Boston's Beacon Hill's trash to find
the rich people are drinking. Their findings ranged from a $107
bottle of wine to a six-pack of Miller Lite empties, shamefully
stuffed in plastic bags.
Holy crap --
posting two days in a row. I can't remember the last time this happened.
the new "trend" is that teens
wear white t-shirts. "For all its plainness, the white
T-shirt refuses to be ignored."
Oooo oooh, can I call a new trend? Wait for it .... women wear bras.
Come on, maybe someone will pick up on it.
([sigh] -- to be fair, much of the point of the "trend"
is that they are very oversized white t-shirts. Still, kind of a
non-story.) (Reg. req'd)
to create happynews.com, where "[the] glass is always at least
half-full, and sometimes
it bubbles right over." Ick. (Reg. req'd)
an extension of wedding-related news from yesterday,
the modern man sometimes likes to be waxed
and manicured for his wedding. I'd say something snarky, but
it's too easy.
Is it better
buy or rent? "At the very least, renters in boom markets,
who often lament that they are wasting money, should know that their
choice has as powerful an economic rationale as buying does right
now." (Reg. req'd)
went on a very scary helicopter ride for tourists while in Kauai.
Oh, it's so safe, Brian told me. Oh, look around at the scenery,
the pilot told me. One
of those helicopters just crashed.
Japan, a new magazine, Stag & Groom, coaches
men through wedding planning. The editor said "if sales
indicate men are becoming more interested in wedding-planning, the
wedding industry as a whole might come up with ideas for new services
and expand business." Doubt it.
complains that theater-goers are too
free with standing ovations.
jerky potato chips introduced. [sarcasm] Yum. [/sarcasm]
game MASH now online. Apparently,
nothing is sacred
I have to prepare
a short presentation for tomorrow and I don't want to. Let the procrastinating
stirs debate -- A 22-year-old advertises on homeless people
wearing sandwich boards.
on a librarian sells over 100,000 dolls. The "deluxe"
version comes with a book cart, desk and computer. Awesome. (Reg.
I liked this
the Nano. On the day of its release, I e-mailed Brian the story
three whole minutes before the Slashdot geeks posted about it. Three
couple weeks ago I was watching public access TV (aka NewTV.) They
had a horrific 15-minute documentary about foie gras. The documentary
looked like it was PETA-produced, but it was so awful to watch that
I didn't care who did it. A hidden camera taped a worker grabbing
a duck, shoving what looked like a PVC pipe down its throat, and
filled it up with so much...duck Ensure that its stomach puffed
out like it'd explode. It was awful. Now, Chicago
alderman wants to ban foie gras. They should. (Reg. req'd)
as to not end with a Debbie, here's stuffonmycat.com.
There's also catsinsinks.com.
Fun things you
can do with Google products:
You can format with italics or bold when you type. I discovered
this accidentally. When I want to emphasize a point in plain text,
I'll *write* like this. Apparently, this makes the type bold. It
drove Brian absolutely crazy that I could bold stuff, and I wouldn't
tell him how. Then, he figured out that _this_ makes type italics.
So there's our secret. You're welcome.
This is one variation of our
walk around our neighborhood. This pedometer thing is great;
I highly recommend it.
of dreadful 80s album covers, courtesy of Boston.com. It starts
off a little slow, but really gets going with "The
Music of James Last." (Thanks to Robin, for bringing this
to my attention.)
Brian and I
were in the car together this afternoon, and we drive by a guy that
is wearing a t-shirt that reads, "Available."
I say to Brian:
"Gee, you can never wear a shirt like that, ever again."
After a minute,
he's still smiling. I ask what is so funny.
wear that shirt. I would just put an exclamation point in front
of available." (i.e., "!Available")
this is a computer term that means NOT available. I'm sure three
or four of you already knew that.
ladies -- he's taken. Beg your pardon -- !available)
New York Times suggests packaging
pale ales in cans to prevent skunking. They should know. They
are the New York Times. (Reg. req'd)
Hi! I've missed
We've had the
best few weeks. But this past week really took the cake. Here's
went to the David Sedaris reading on Tuesday. It was mobbed, but
we had tickets, so we had fab seats. It was so worth going -- he
was so cordial and friendly with everyone, and went around before
the reading just to chat. I loved how down to earth he was; some
people who do readings are insufferable snobs. (Ken
Auletta, hi -- I'm looking at you.) He brought the monkey on
tour, too -- just for kicks.
So David (yeah,
I think I can presume we're that familiar) said he asks everyone
he signs a book for about themselves, and he really meant it. He
asked if we were a couple, and I told him we were getting married
soon. This is what he wrote in my book:
Best of luck
with your first marraige [sic]
How droll. How
ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. Nick Hornby's coming to Brookline Tuesday. So
far, this summer has been great
And then today,
WE GOT COLDPLAY TICKETS!!!!!!! We never go to concerts, so this
is huge for us. I LOVE COLDPLAY!!! It's in August.
yeah -- and this Saturday, we're getting married.
There was a
rabbit in our backyard. Naturally, I felt compelled to document
buddy, the rabbit
sentinel, keeping watch.
I love our new
digital camera. I went out in pajama pants to bring that to you.
I don't care
if these jokes are older than dirt, I laughed and laughed at them:
Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the
following are questions
actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and,
in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses.
and gentlemen, the Litter-Kwitter.
lady storms newsroom. Now substitute her name for "Laura
Bush" and imagine how bizarre that scene must have been.
A movie theater
chain plans to publish the
real times movies start, not what time you should arrive to
catch three commercials and five previews.
is way safer than Advil or aspirin, unless you're a raging alcoholic.
Curious to know
what the Runaway Bride registered for? Ponder
longer. (Inspired by this
article.) (Reg. req'd for the story)
ever does one settle between two auction houses for priceless works
of art? Why, paper,
rock, scissors, of course. (Reg. req'd)
How TV Land
plans to pay tribute to Everybody Loves Raymond's series
finale: They will show a room filled with 210 guys named Raymond
when the show's final episode airs May 16. They'll
each wear a T-shirt with the title of one of the show's episodes
and stand, one by one, to introduce themselves.
short story out!! It's accessible to all! Read it!
to do when in an awkward spot but want to appear otherwise engaged?
a cell phone conversation. To wit: "The cashier had already
rung up Keri Wooster's items when Wooster realized she didn't have
her wallet. She dashed to her car and returned empty-handed to face
the line of fidgeting customers she had kept waiting, a cell phone
pressed to her ear. 'Jordan, did you take my wallet out of my purse?'
she asked in parental exasperation, as she made her way back to
the checkout counter. 'I'm holding up this line! You need to put
things back where you find them.' Wooster -- who has no children
-- was not actually talking to a Jordan, or indeed to anyone."
not to react. (Reg. req'd)
people (Not it!!) are addicted
to TiVo. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch Tuesday
night's Scrubs, followed by three episodes of Oprah.
A look at all
the superfluous crap colleges are throwing at their students.
"[A]t DePaul University in Chicago, where each dormitory room
has free cable-TV service, students can log on to their personal
computers to locate an empty computer terminal in the library or
campus labs. The new program, based on an online airline-seating
system, helps students decide when to leave their dorms, if at all."
And BU? A $90 million fitness and recreation center with a lazy
river, a hot tub for 25, a pool with a wave machine, and a juice
bar. (Reg. req'd)
cousins try to overcome
taboo of 'I do.' After being initially shunned by their family
(heh -- I almost wrote "families"), together they learned
he likes to eat groundhog, she doesn't. Tomato, to-mah-toe. (Story
includes loving photo.) (Reg. req'd)
Cruise (age 42) and Katie Holmes (age 26) are
dating. His movie career is roughly as long as she's been alive.
handwritten diaries to
become a book -- "it may be the first and last contemporaneous
daily glimpse of a presidency through the eyes of the president
himself." That's pretty interesting. (Reg. req'd)
Axe body spray. "Unilever wanted scents that expressed
emotions and ideas such as 'authenticity,' 'confidently male' and
'a warmer sexier side with a deliciously sensual heart.'" You
have to remember these are 14- to 19-year-olds. Plus, this isn't
new ground. Remember "Designer Imposters"? (Oh, wow --
selling them.) (Reg. req'd)
I have an appointment
this morning, so I am blogging until I have to leave. Some material...
is what happened to Corey Haim.
paid trillions of dollars to shave
14 seconds of prep time off making a latte. But, you know, they
are really very concerned with the refugee children of Sudan. They
think about them all the time. (Reg. req'd)
At some local
nightspots in Boston, nerds
rule. And no, it's not a story about my apartment.
Type-A overachievers who
carefully ration their sleeping time, sometime whittling it
down to four hours a night. For example: "He allocates 60 hours
for work, 45 for sleep (he often naps from 5:30 to 6:30 a.m. and
catches up on weekends), 21 for family, seven for meditation, seven
for family finance, seven for volunteering and four for exercise.
Seventeen hours a week are 'flex time.'" Perhaps this is why
I am not an overachiever. (Reg. req'd -- don't forget about bugmenot)
last fall semester gave
all their students iPods. "About 75 percent of freshmen
surveyed said they used the iPods for their academic work."
Liars. They did not.
for the full story
its residents hunt stray cats. The governor says he doesn't
want his state to be the "kill cats" state, but I still
wanted to bring you the story. To know the type of people we're
talking about here -- they wanted to lower the legal hunting age
from 12 to 10. (It was defeated, but someone still wanted to do
most familiar faces in the funnies have updated
their wardrobes, their gadgets and their frames of reference.
Blondie's daughter, Cookie, is dressing like Britney Spears. In
'The Family Circus,' little Billy is playing 'good guys' vs. 'insurgents'
in his backyard." Ah, yes, Family Circus. Always so timely
road sign on Cambridge Street flashed "EXPECT DELAYS"
and "ROAD WORK AHEAD" but also alerted drivers that "PORN
IS GREAT." It's the second
time such a message has appeared along the delay-plagued stretch
of roadwork in Beacon Hill, but state officials aren't laughing.
a book of short stories. They're not his short stories,
but it'll have to be enough. And you gu-uys ... he's coming
to Cambridge in Ma-ay...
How to tell
if a beer doesn't
deserve you. (Reg. req'd)
who posed for famed
Paris photo of kiss to sell her original print. You'll know
the picture, I [cliché alert] had a copy in my dorm room.
Click on the article, and you'll see it's also a study on the effects
A story on Kirstie
Alley's Fat Actress show. Yawn, right? I would agree,
except for the tidbit on Mayim Bialik, aka Blossom. She is now is
getting a Ph.D. in neuroscience at U.C.L.A. WHOA!.
story on Clocky, the rolling
alarm clock. "When the snooze alarm is pushed, Clocky rolls
off the bedside table, tumbles to the floor and, thanks to shock-absorbing
materials and rubber wheels, races away from the bed." Wow,
that sounds like hilarity when you're half-awake and can't see.
The yoga turf
wars get worse: "I was prepared for an East Coast/West
Coast divide in rap music, but the idea of sniping
between Iyengstas and Ashtangstas just didn't seem very yogic
to me." (Reg. req'd)
Claim: Tryptophan in turkey makes you drowsy. Answer after the
jump. (Reg. req'd)
Boy band singer
for Cincinnati mayor. Well, we all laughed at Arnold running
for governor, and look where he is now.
to get awesomer.
Sox lead league at $276
for family of four. At least you don't have to buy the kids
beer. Then you'd be over $300.
straight off a post from the Knot...)
Test ... See if you can figure it out. Apparently this is an IQ
test given to employees in Japan. Everybody
has to cross the river. Click on big blue dot on the bottom
right to start the game. The following rules apply:
* Only 2 persons
on the raft at a time
* The father cannot stay with any of the daughters without their
* The mother cannot stay with any of the sons without their father's
* The thief (striped shirt) cannot stay alone with any family member
* Only the Father, the Mother and the Policeman know how to operate
* To move the
people click on them.
* To move the raft click on the red balls.....
If you succeed in...
4 minutes: You are a genius
6 minutes: You are exceptionally intelligent
10 minutes: You are very intelligent
20 minutes: You are average
unedited e-mail conversation from today:
Wed, Mar 30, 2005 at 10:33AM
Baby seal clubbing
denounced as cruel
Wed, Mar 30, 2005 at 10:42AM
yeah, you havnt'
seen cruelty until you've seen a baby seal try to "shake it"
on the dance floor.
-- He's taken.)
From the Onion
(and it's very funny): You Won't Believe This, But I'm Actually
On A Crowded Elevator Right Now. This, too,
made me laugh, and it got funnier the second time.
They redid Little
House on the Prairie as a TV series on ABC. But the reviewer
notes that Ma almost never wears a hat or a bonnet. Come on -- what's
Ma without her bonnet? (Reg. req'd)
watched before TiVo
watched since TiVo
America's Next Top Model
Making the Band 3
Real World/Road Rules Challenge
the Band 3?? WTF? Pre TiVo: No MTV. Post-TiVo; 5 MTV shows.
My viewing habits are starting to resemble a 14-year-old girl's;
pretty soon I'm going to be WHOOOing on TRL. This is not a good
thing. Don't buy TiVo. It makes you dumber.
For those who
don't understand how anyone could watch America's Next Top Model,
this recap. Clearly, it is the best show on TV.
I am sick (I have a little cold, thanks for asking.) When I am sick,
I crave the crappiest crap in the entire world. So last night I
sent Brian out for a Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal at McDonald's.
I ate it, and was feeling pretty fine, under the circumstances.
Then, this morning,
I see this story -- Woman eating chili bites into human finger.
"They believe it belongs to a woman because
of the long, manicured nail." Dude. (Insert "finger
food" puns here.) Thankfully, it was on the west coast, and
at a Wendy's. Because McDonald's would never have such atrocities.
They don't even serve chili. For even more details, read
Moral of the
story: McDonald's is higher quality than Wendy's. I ate it, and
there were no fingers.
[SIGH -- Yes,
I have read Fast
Food Nation. We're not going to talk about that, are we?
Because I'm SICK.]
a shave and a haircut (two bits.)
academic book devoted
to the fine art of bullshit.
The author uses John Kerry as a "working example."
there's this restaurant in NYC where the
menu doesn't have prices. You're supposed to pay what you thought
the meal was worth. And no, you're not supposed to leave without
British TV commercial for Marmite
scared the living
crap out of little British kids. Story includes images of a
nasty brown blob terrorizing the streets of London.
gallery of the Queer Eye Sox makeover. My Kevin looks
dreadfully like Thurston Howell III.
store owner claims a
turtle has Satan's image on its shell.
want to boycott the new Jimmy Fallon/Drew Barrymore movie on the
Red Sox because the actors' "presence on the field after the
Sox won it all somehow
sullied their special moment." Whatever -- keep it real
and skip it because Jimmy Fallon is a tool.
The kid in charge
of Think Secret gets
profiled. Again. Diva.
Geeks in the
14 was Pi Day. An ode to Pi Day, to the tune of "American
Pi, pi, it's the constant to try,
by a diameter and then you'll see why,
number's as eternal as the desert is dry.
today's the day we celebrate pi.
Red Sox will
be on the season opener of Queer Eye June 7.
FAQ: Why does
moving your hands in front of the TV or radio antenna influence
the reception? The answer includes thrills like, "When
an antenna picks up electromagnetic radiation emitted elsewhere,
an electrical current is induced in it. This current can be tapped
and amplified by the radio or television receiver,
allowing power and information to be communicated over large distances
without direct electrical connection. In addition, the current in
the receiving antenna is itself a secondary source of radiation..."
This kid looks
When are colds actually
contagious? (Reg. req'd)
used to do this, too, but then The Man beat me into submission:
"When Seth Shepsle goes to Starbucks, he orders a 'medium'
because 'grande' -- as the coffee company calls the size, the one
between big and small -- annoys him." (Unless you're Brian,
of course. Then you do
this.) Story is all about taking
on the little things in life that drive you crazy. (Reg. req'd)
guy who created the Dyson vacuum cleaner (after 5,000 prototypes)
has now unleashed
a British Roomba. (Whoops -- not a Roomba.
It's called "The Ball," so you can understand my mistake.
The story's still worth reading; at one point, Mr. Dyson is described
as "looking for all the world like a cowboy riding a vacuum
are now germs. No, not the stuffed animals kids have drooled all
over, but actual Ebola,
Black Death, and mono.
I will be doing on Friday, April 1. You guys, this is big.
the Washington Post on TV
snow coverage. The whole thing is hilarious, but this was my
fav: "Backdrop graphics: Before it snows, the sign on screen
should read, 'Snow on the Way?' If we get 1 to 2 inches, it's 'Snow
Emergency!' Three to 7 inches: 'Killer Storm!' Anything more, we
run with 'Avalanches, Cannibalism Feared.'" Heh...
okay, okay --
one more: "[R]emember: Any market in which three shoppers are
buying milk, bread or toilet paper simultaneously constitutes 'panic
buying')." So true ... (Reg. req'd)
via The Onion:
Gmail user pities
kid was so clearly asking for it, I have little to no sympathy for
him: Internet fame is cruel mistress for a
dancer of the Numa Numa. (Reg. req'd)
Millar may or
may not be signed
up for Queer Eye. [Sigh] ... he's the dreamiest. Not
necessarily in that picture, but overall.
that super-fab Starbucks hot chocolate?
review of it. Apparently, legend has it one StarbucksterJen
likes to order it as a large. Excuse me, venti. (Reg. req'd)
a bad year for roadkill ... candy.
Apple unveiled its new iPod minis. Missing is the gold version.
in Florida goes to the bathroom, only to discover a
six-foot python coiled in his toilet, with its head sticking
out. "[Guy] called his boss to tell him he'd be late because
he'd had to wrestle a snake out of his toilet. His boss joked he
would need a better excuse than that. [The guy] told the boss he'd
bring it in so he could see it. So he did."
The hot new
trend: Drill holes
in the bridge of your nose for your glasses.
the wedding/bachelor/bachelorette pictures
And more can be found
people who called the cops and sued over that ill-fated cookie delivery?
If they had to do it again, they
say they totally would.
Chicago Cubs' infamous Bartman baseball was blown up, and is now
in a tasty marinara sauce. Seriously. (Reg. req'd)
your calendars: March
3 is World Book Day.
for 58 years renewed their wedding vows recently. "The
ceremony [Feb. 16] will be simple, performed in Florence's second-floor
hospital room by a pastor that the couple has known for many years.
[N]urses will decorate the room, help her into her best clothes,
and give her a bouquet to hold. And Charles will slip the same $2
solitaire onto his wife's finger that he did 58 years ago."
squirming on a fishhook feel no pain -- nor do lobsters and crabs
cooked in boiling water,
a scientific study funded by the Norwegian government has found.
car that's smaller than a Mini. Meet the
Smart coupe. It can park perpendicular to the curb. (Reg. req'd)
name is Serenity Spice. What's
section front of the Sunday Times book review. Everyone
can now appreciate the love that I have held in my heart for so
long. (They could have said his book was craptastic for all I know
-- I won't read any reviews until I read the book.) His author website
is pretty good, too. Listen to the sound; it drove Brian crazy.
now it's official. It's a cult.
("Is that a tattoo?" -- Brian)
in Iowa are bored and jobless. Well, duh. "Republicans think
they have come up with a more effective inducement for young college
residents under the age of 30 from state income taxes."
got a call to action -- Stop wearing those ridiculous rubber bands
around your wrist. Enough
pleads guilty to selling fake beer. But not
just any beer.
something about that cowbell: This guy deflates much of the humor
from the SNL sketch. He says 70s rock-and-roll would be nothing
without the cowbell. "I'm talking fringe-vested, bare-chested,
bell-bottom wearing hard rockers...Back then, nearly every drummer
was armed with a cowbell perched on top of his bass drum."
Then he lets us know that Christopher
Walken is the patron saint of the cowbell.
Man drinks 60
bottles of beer, pees
way out of avalanche.
What Tara Reid
thinks of her latest movie: "The plot, Reid says, is 'hard
to explain, but once you see it, it is really a good movie. It's
New York Times thinks of Tara Reid's latest movie: "This
horror film, spun off from an old Atari video game, is
so inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn't
release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the
trash." (Reg. req'd)
succinctly, "Just Tara-ble."
This is the coolest thing ever! Someone came up with a "March
Madness" for books -- with brackets and everything!
(Okay .. calming
down ... haven't read any of them, but familiar with many of the
titles... It's still a good idea. Here's the
background. The prize is amusing, for those who like Sedaris.
I've just always wanted to be part of a sports bracket tourney-thing.
They're so ...
exclusive. Not me.)
lady is 87-years-old, and she shovels
for her neighbors. I wish I lived near her. (Awwwww: "The
retired school crossing guard took on the chore after her husband
died in 1994. He, too, had shoveled out the neighbors. Now, she
says, she talks to him while she works. Sometimes she asks him to
make it stop snowing." I find that very sweet.)
to say "I love you" and never found the words? Well now
you can buy
a plant that says it for you. Literally.
has a "Genius
Bar." I find that mildly obnoxious. (Reg. req'd)
This is the
best/worst/most horrifying thing I saw all day: What
Tonya Harding's been up to. Dare I say it, but I miss the old
Tonya. She was skanktastic, but at least she wasn't scary.
caption, just a truly great picture from the inauguration
Let the people
speak! Vote for your
favorite book you read last year; it didn't need to be published
last year. You could win more money for books! (A lady normally
doesn't reveal who she votes for, but
I'm not a lady.)
the story on the "Blizzard
of 2005" has been exhausted, please witness the absolute
shitfit Raleigh, N.C., had over one inch of snow: "Police
handled more than 1,000 accidents, none fatal, and some people were
caught in traffic jams that left them on the roads for more than
eight hours. Buses were unable to take children home from school,
stranding nearly 3,000 students in their classrooms with their teachers
overnight. Some motorists who could not get home bunked with others
in office buildings and even grocery stores."
Gah ... lightweights
Now, I used
to like David Brooks. He was a moderate conservative that wrote
for the heavily-conservative Weekly
Standard, also wrote a handful of interesting
and I liked his sense of humor. Then he moved to the New York
Times. And promptly
lost his mind (from a column on what women should do to make
their lives easier):
make more sense [for her] to go to college, make a greater effort
to marry early and have children. Then, if she, rather than her
spouse, wants to stay home, she could raise children from age
25 to 35. Then at 35 (now that she knows herself better) she could
select a flexible graduate program specifically designed for parents.
Then she could work in one uninterrupted stint from, say, 40 to
The whole proposal
is dreadful, but I pause at "Now that she knows herself better."
So he thinks it's best for the naïve waif to pick out a soulmate
at 22? (Here's another counterpoint.)
advice -- don't smell, touch, or fondle
sold at Costco. Next up, foie gras at McDonald's.
cicadas, now rat-like
rodents are coming to South Carolina: "The furry bucktoothed
rodent looks like a mix between a beaver and a rat and weighs up
to 20 pounds...They are enough of a problem in Louisiana that hunters
and trappers get a $4 bounty for each tail they produce and residents
are encouraged to eat them." Aww, hell, Louisiana. That's
your bum a boost.
by a high-schooler. Take that, Brivo!!
finally, I tried Starbucks's new
ultra-fab hot chocolate last Thursday during a free-sample hour.
Don't bother with it. It has the consistency of cold motor oil,
and is so cloyingly sweet that after the first sip it goes from
being, "Wow, this is chocolatey and rich," right to, "What
in the hell are you trying to do?? Kill me? I need some water. Right
now." Oh, and it has 21
grams of fat in a 6 oz. cup. Not worth it. Or try it once, and
we can talk about it.
Members of Tennessee's
pool from hell" -- "Right after jury selection began
last week, one man got up and left, announcing, 'I'm on morphine
and I'm higher than a kite.' When the prosecutor asked if anyone
had been convicted of a crime, a prospective juror said that he
had been arrested and taken to a mental hospital after he almost
shot his nephew. He said he was provoked because his nephew just
would not come out from under the bed." Awesome. (Thanks, Ryan.)
year, for the last 56 years, a masked stranger sneaks into a Baltimore
cemetery and places
three roses and a half-empty bottle of cognac on Edgar Allan
Poe's grave on the writer's birthday.
Misery is expected
to peak on Monday, as 24 January has been pinpointed
as the worst day of the year. Wahhhh wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
who try to get into Google's programs are
more likely to get headhunted than receive a criminal record.
a quarter-century ago, Jerry Duran watched his 1978 Pomona High
School class ring swirl
around the toilet bowl and disappear." Then recently, some
guy found it and returned it. Dude, keep it.
canned beer Apocalypse" is
Ugh, this is
disgusting: 100-pound woman eats
six-pound burger. She probably was able to get a good burp out.
some, the Internet is so ingrained into daily life that when cut
go into online withdrawal much as they would without coffee
guy has been camped
out in front of a movie theater on a blue futon waiting for
the opening of the next Star Wars movie, which doesn't happen
a makeover, thanks to Dove shampoo (with image).
and 'Mohammed' are hot
British baby names.
profile of the
kid who started thinksecret.com. (Reg. req'd)
is an art director in New York. He has the same name as (the late)
Ol' Dirty Bastard. "In the early winter of 1996, he and his
wife began to receive some unusual phone calls late at night. They
would pick up the receiver and a voice would shout 'Yo,
Dirty!' or just 'Dirteee!' and then hang up...Theyd get
the wrong Russell Jones, the one who describes himself as 'meek'
and 'white.'" This story is great, and there's a hidden little
storytelling diamond about the name of the guy's brother (I won't
ruin it.) It's almost the perfect story.
story on bookslut, one of my favorite Internet bookmarks: "In
a sea of competing Internet voices, Bookslut.com has distinguished
itself through snarky, literate book reviews, thoughtful author
interviews and a trend-tracking blog that attracts between 5,500
and 6,000 visitors daily." (Reg. req'd)
gets in more trouble: "After telling the crowd he supported
America's war on terrorism, he said, 'I hope you kill every man,
woman and child in Iraq, down to the lizards...And may George W.
Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq.' He
then sang a garbled version of The Star-Spangled Banner."
weddings, as with life, the
rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
So I went to
my first yoga class tonight. What a disaster.
I get there,
and I'm late. Which means I have to slink into an already-darkened
class, when I would have preferred a nice introductory chat with
the teacher to let her know I was new. I grab a mat and lay it down.
It's crooked. Then I look around, and everyone has these hippie-looking
blankets. So I had to tip-toe back to where the mats were, and grab
a blanket. This is not a good start.
Then there are
the poses. Clearly, there are varying levels of expertise in a class.
So for some, it ain't no thing. Which means it's particularly difficult/humbling
when everyone just shifts into the "downward dog" or the
"child's pose," and you haven't been acquainted with either.
And the fetal position? I have been sleeping like that for years.
In class? I blanked. On the FETAL POSITION. (Edited to correct:
It's "downward-facing dog." For crying out loud...)
Also, I am sure
that when everyone is meditating, the soothing, lilt-y, accented
voice of the teacher is quite lovely. When you don't know what the
hell you're doing, your foot is cramping and there's stray hair
in your eye, it's kind of aggravating. She was very kind, and came
back to the loser-corner to help me a bunch of times. This was good,
but it was also embarrassing.
I kept having
to laugh every time I looked around a class of grounded, centered
women, and there I am in the back corner, on a crooked mat. A sty
in the eye of perfection.
This guy is
AWESOME: when he got married, he
... HE!!! changed his name!!! ROCK ON, MY BROTHER!! (Reg.
offer a year of car insurance to car buyers: "Illinois
and Wisconsin residents with valid driver's licenses who take delivery
of a new 2004 or 2005 VW Golf, Beetle or Beetle convertible through
March 31 will get a free 'In the Car' insurance policy that's good
for one year." (Reg.
Boston now officially
refuses to honor the chairs, trash cans, and other assorted
crap people use to mark their shoveled parking spots after a snowstorm.
may appeal only to me, but it appeals to me very, very much: All
about the expiration
dates on food. Because once it hits that date, I throw it the
hell out. (Reg.
myth of whether you'll get
electrocuted (Hi Mom) if you talk on the phone during a thunderstorm.
Of course, in those days all the phones had cords. (Reg.
of SNL. The first person quoted is the head writer who (I think)
Tina Fey replaced. Hmmm... (Reg.
her kid "Tsunami."