Saturday, October 30

The Rolling Rally!!!

We had a great, non-claustrophobic time at the rally. We were on Brookline Ave., a little ways away from the parade's beginning, but not in the sardine can that was Copley Square. We were thisclose to David Ortiz, Curt Schilling and Pedro Martinez; caught a glimpse of Johnny Damon; but (sadly) did not see Kevin Millar, because he was on the opposite side of a duck boat. Jen thinks Millar is dreeeeeaamy.

We hit no traffic, parked [excuse me, pahhked] for $5 in a Longwood-area lot, and it was a good time. Congrats, Boston, we're so happy and proud of you!

Click here for rally pix. (Note: There's only four, and you've already seen two. Just don't want you to be disappointed. Click here for Globe coverage.)

Thursday, October 28

With the monkey off Boston's back, here are the franchises that have
gone the longest without winning the World Series:

Wednesday, October 27

11:54 p.m.:

So it's looking pretty good for the Sox. It's the top of the 8th, the score is 3-0. But I just can't forget about this column I read on Sunday. It asks, what will we do when we're not losers anymore?

A deeply addictive paper basket shoot simulator in Flash. Attempt to bank your wad of paper off a light breeze, and into a waste paper basket. If you have speakers, turn them up, as the thunk of a solid basket is oddly satisfying. (via Screenhead)

Bush campaign website blocked outside U.S.

Cats affected by 'stress' ...

An interestingly fabulous essay by a famous socialite on how to survive among the shark-infested waters of power-hungry D.C. Names are liberally dropped. (Reg. req'd)

Another essay, this time on what a woman having a really bad day did when a Bush supporter knocked on her door. (Reg. req'd)

WordsWorth, an independent bookstore in Harvard Square, closes Saturday.

Couldn't God have just spread it around a little more evenly? -- Twin brothers both get 1600s on their SATs.

More women are going brunette. Why? Because it's awesome.

Tuesday, October 26

Jimmy Fallon's Fame Audit.

I love this commercial. I just saw it for the first time, and loved it. Surprised to find it's from Nike, and at least it's subtle. But I still love it.

Yes, the game is on. Yes, I am watching it. I'll recap only if it's of dire importance.

In World Series news, Cardinals fans seen as knowledgeable, loyal, polite (and trustworthy, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent -- whoever wrote that headline must have been a Boy Scout). And we're not trying to jinx ourselves or anything, but yeah -- the parade is already planned. And for those who've been wondering, here's what Nomar's been up to.

Myths debunked: You CAN'T catch the flu from the flu shot, and you DON'T lose most of your body heat through your head. (Reg. req'd)

Engaging Nut-marketers -- all about the Emerald Nuts commercials.

The original singer of the song "Monster Mash" took his song and re-recorded it to be a commentary on Bush's environmental policies. Click here for the song (it goes right into sound.)

This columnist recently wrote about how she was fed up with others lack of hygiene during flu season. The column received a huge response. Writers reported that "one Sacramento office is so cognizant of the hand-washing problem, workers developed terminology to describe the perpetrators of these yucky habits. 'Drybies' rush in, use the facilities and rush out, completely bypassing the hand-washing area. 'Actors' turn on the water and pretend to wash their hands. 'Tippers' smell their fingertips and decide by their sense of smell if it is necessary to wash their hands." That's DISGUSTING.

In other news, my work bathrooms just installed "luxury foam" soap dispensers. Jealous?

Monday, October 25

Vermont was beee-yoo-tiful. We saw lots of happy little trees. When Brian was recklessly driving through Montpelier, I got to shout, "Don't hit the hippie!!!" We saw a real, live hitchhiker who was sticking his thumb out without a trace of irony. If I was thinking more quickly, I would have pulled over to take his picture.

Where we stayed (it was awesome; they give you homemade cookies and coffee and hot apple cider all day long. It was also walking distance to Lake Champlain):

We toured, in order of preference, the Vermont Teddy Bear Company (shut up), Magic Hat Brewery, and Ben and Jerry's. Vermont Teddy Bear got my vote as the best because they were 1) free, 2) clever, and 3) not too preachy. (Preachy = Vermont values = non-commericalized, earthy, grassroots way of business.) That would be nice, except their authentic "born-in-Vermont" bears are $60, and their made-in-China bears are $20. Now if you've got three kids, which bear are you going to buy?

Ben and Jerry were cheap SOBs who, for $3, give you a paper pill cup's worth of reject ice cream, and they're preachy and self-deprecating to a HUGE fault.

Magic Hat gives you free beer, and the tour is free. I, like you, would think this is the best thing ever. But it wasn't -- they were preachier than a church on Easter about "Vermont values," they ripped on Twinkies because they were mass-produced and low-quality, and the tour just was awful. AND Brian ate some of the malt. He was not offered malt. One second his mouth is still, the next second he's chewing on something. I was like, what are you eating??? His defense was because you could do it at the Sam Adams tour, you can do it everywhere.

Wednesday, October 20

12:01 a.m. (October 21): SEE YOU SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!

11:55 p.m.: One out left. I've got a hankerin' for some car flippin'.

11:53 p.m.: The Sox last won the World Series in 1918. The last time they played in a World Series was in 1986 -- 18 years ago. We will win the World Series -- the numbers are all aligned. (Image: Gabe Kapler is No. 19 and Johnny Damon is No. 18)

11:42 p.m.: 10-3 Boston, and all's well. If we somehow blow this during the bottom of the 9th, I will never be the same.

11:17 p.m.: Sigh of relief -- Belhorn hits a home run, erasing a little of Pedro's damage.

11:05 p.m.: WHAT is PEDRO DOING????? WHAT??????? WHAT ARE THEY DOING? Brian: "Pedro is the curse."

10:55 p.m.: It's the God Bless America guy again! He looks like Charlie Brown! If Charlie Brown had mad bling on his left hand.

10:14 p.m.: When they showed the Cask 'N Flagon after Damon's grand slam, and the two big guys embraced and there were high-fives all around, it looked like a really bad beer commercial.

9:54 p.m.: HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, NEW YORK??? 8-1 Red Sox, top of the fourth. And Johnny Damon once was lost, but now is found, with a grand slam and two-run home run. Kisses, Johnny!!!

Tuesday, October 19

7:14 a.m. (October 20): We won. I find this out secondhand, because I fell asleep during the bottom half of the seventh inning (somewhere after God Bless America.) I am so ready for 8:19 p.m. tonight. Until then, a story from the Globe on who needs sleep, anyway?

9:48 p.m.: 4-0 Boston, bottom of the 4th.

*****

When Kerry wins in two weeks, he'll accept in Copley Square.

At home in Santo Domingo, David Ortiz's very cute dad, after watching his son hit the game-winning home run Monday night, hollered "Felicidad! Felicidad! Felicidad!" waved his arms and danced in a big group hug with his daughter and granddaughter.

Kickball really does not need to come back. Because I was the kid that triggered everyone to move in from outfield when I was up to kick. I do not need to relive that. (Reg. req'd)

Hey, it's that guy! -- One of the guys from Best Week Ever (he's one of the two from the Modern Humorist) is from Newton.

Speaking of Newton, there's a new jeans store in Newton Center. I've driven by it often, and wondered about it. Turns out that the store is "owned" by a 23-year-old. The assistant director of MIT's Entrepreneurship Center said her success will more likely be determined by how hard and how smart she works. But, he added, "wouldn't it be great if she were succeeding if she hadn't been born with a silver spoon in her mouth?" Mmmmmm hmmm.

Snapple Real-Fact #318: Top-performing companies are called "blue chips" after the costliest chips in casinos. I did not know that.

Monday, October 18

11:02 p.m.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LATER (10:35 p.m.): Remember last night's/this morning's game -- the longest in ALCS history? This one is longer. Bottom of the 13th, 4-4. I am so tired.

Are you a bigger Sox fan or a Patriots fan? (When I took the quiz, I was 20/20 guess-who.)

*****

12:09 a.m.: Bottom 9th, runners on first and third, one out. Everyone still has overwhelming hope. Many can't look. The cat looks like he's on the edge of his seat, watching. Honestly.

12:10 a.m. Two outs. Now, runners on second and third (stolen base)

12:13 a.m. The children are too young. The children should not watch.

12:15 a.m. Ramirez is walked, bases are loaded, David Ortiz to the plate.

12:17 a.m. Pop-up, end of the 9th inning.

12:26 a.m. Despite the drama and the late hour, I can't help but notice there are too many of those dreadful baby-pink Sox caps in the stands. Those must be stopped.

12:39 a.m. I really need to go to sleep.

12:52 a.m. Yankees up, bases are loaded, two outs, bottom of the ... 10th inning.

12:59 a.m. Would the Red Sox just LOSE and end it already? omg -- did I say that out loud??

1:14 a.m. The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plains. I am so tired.

1:23 a.m. GOD BLESS DAVID ORTIZ. Five hour, two minute game, the longest game in ALCS history, is over. Sox win 6-4. Last time a team won game 4 after being three games behind was the 1910 Cubs.

Sunday, October 17

We were leaving at the Outback Steakhouse in Orange, Conn., after enjoying a healthy, heart-friendly steak dinner, when on the way out Brian overheard a woman speaking derisively about "stupid Massachusetts liberals." WTF? Why is this bashing the new trend?? (Reg. req'd)

Maybe Red Sox fans enjoy their pain. Um, no, we really don't so much. (Reg. req'd; story published online before the 19-8 loss.)

Kerry for President. And more. Also, eight out of 10 countries agree -- Kerry should be president.

And, since I'm nonpartisan (ha), Bush for President. And good advice: Don't talk about politics with family. And a good photo of the twins, with a better caption, during the last debate.

(Did you catch the thoughtful left/right text alignments
of the two previous items?)

This is gross -- the world's "finest" (probably most expensive) coffee must pass through the digestive system of an African tree-cat and be pooped out to be considered the world's finest.

I'd make fun of this lady for her sweepstaking hobby, but she's won a Ford Explorer from Coca-Cola, $10,000 from RC Cola, a computer from Toys "R" Us, and a California-to-Mexico cruise for four. That kind of shuts me right up.

Thursday, October 14

please don't rub in the red sox losing streak. it hurts too much.

Tuesday, October 12

A hilarious interview with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler on the new Weekend Update. Interesting fact: Horatio Sanz and Seth Meyers also tried out for the news slot. (Reg. req'd)

One watered-down Bud Light, $5.50. One ticket to an ALCS Sox/Yankees game: $2,460. Seeing the Sox spank the Yankees: Priceless.

Why Jimmy Fallon isn't funny. Ouch: "Most Saturday Night Live alums leave the nest and hedge a bet on whether or not they can act; they face complete failure if they can't deliver the goods. Jimmy Fallon's schtick is about never being able to deliver. And therein lies the ultimate in Hollywood job security." (Login/reg. via bugmenot: bugmenot2004/19530321)

Sex, angst, and moms on the edge -- suburban satire is back.

Teresa stays scripted, and the masses are very disappointed.

Ask Gina Nigrelli to describe what she's wearing for her wedding in the Caribbean's St. Lucia on Jan. 15 and she answers, "A dress." Ask her to describe the jeans she's wearing on any given day in Chicago, and she...elaborates on the weight of the denim ("something heavier like 13 ounces sucks you in but isn't as comfortable"), the rinse of the denim ("I have 'Hushes' in six different washes from Diesel") and the length in inches of the inseam ("30s are for flip-flops in summer or Uggs in winter"). (Reg. req'd)

Monday, October 11

We will be at free wings tonight around 8:15 p.m.
Everyone is welcome to join us!

Anne Rice (the Vampire Chronicles lady) is pissed because readers say her latest book stinks. Hmmmm ... (Can you believe she writes without an editor?) (Reg. req'd)

So they're going to be taking T workers out from behind their bulletproof glass, and making them sunshine ambassadors. Judging from the remarks from current T employees (''I guess we have no choice," says one) it's going to be a huge hit.

Sometimes, babies just know.

This "subservient chicken" is weird. I typed in "jump" and "sing," and it did both.

Dunkin Donuts to launch a new ad campaign that follows in the "coffee is crack" theme. "Based on the premise that absence makes the heart grow fonder, Deutsch gathered a group of loyal Dunkin' Donuts aficionados and told them they couldn't go to Dunkin' for a week -- what's called a deprivation study. Members of the study group e-mailed Deutsch a couple times a day, telling how they were feeling and what they did instead." Like reassume their pesky heroin habit.

Wow, whatta guy [sigh] ... Man staged robbery to impress wife

Friday, October 8

This is the funniest thing since "This Land Is Your Land."

Oh, and YAY RED SOX!!!! An interesting story on the camaraderie of the team, written from the Dark Side's newspaper. (Reg. req'd)

The Baltimore pictures are up.

Thursday, October 7

An ode to Debbie Downer.
(Plus the recap of how the magic began. And here's the actual skit)

PLUS! A real-life Debbie Downer letter to the Los Angeles Times: "I am very disappointed that The Times published the picture of the woman feeding the birds at Ken Malloy Harbor Regional Park (Oct. 2). It looks like a very innocent pastime, but the feeding of birds at this location contributes to botulism outbreaks." Waaaaaah-waahhhhhhhhhh.

This is the warmest, fuzziest thing ever. BUT WAIT -- BEFORE you click the link, copy and paste it into your browser and instead of my name, substitute your own first and last names. When it asks you to allow or deny something, just allow it. Oh, yeah -- there's sound. It enhances.
UPDATE: I don't want to hear that your browser doesn't support it, or you don't have flash, or you're working on a Unix box, or your "sound card doesn't work." Stop being so difficult.

Wednesday, October 6

I really couldn't recap this any better myself:

When Naoko Ito uses a public bathroom, she cringes in embarrassment at the thought other patrons can hear the sounds coming from her stall.

That's when she turns to the Sound Princess.

Ito, like a rapidly growing number of women here [in Japan], presses a device installed in public toilets to simulate the sound of water flushing -- and mask the cruder noises of nature.

How dare they suggest that eating the creamy, fat-engorged livers of little baby ducks is inhumane. But don't all cows want to be veal when they grow up? What? They don't grow up? (Reg. req'd)

Tuesday, October 5

A column by a Globe columnist that I really like on the kinder, gentler John Kerry.

Beer + caffeine = goodness. (Except that it's a Budweiser "B-to-the-e," which is totally lame.)

From the London papers: "After the release of Fahrenheit 9/11, Michael Moore received a flood of letters and e-mails from disillusioned and angry American soldiers serving in Iraq. Here, in an exclusive extract from his new book, we print a selection."

What I've read:

Jonathan Lethem
The Fortress of Solitude